


cold water

by hyuckmania



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruises, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Harassment, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, bartender!donghyuck, casanova!mark, very briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 01:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17132510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckmania/pseuds/hyuckmania
Summary: Mark becomes a regular customer in Donghyuck's bar after his nth girlfriend ditches him. Not even the cuts or bruises in Donghyuck's face scare him off. If anything, they just make Donghyuck more enigmatic.





	cold water

**Author's Note:**

> > **_  
> _**  
> "I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." Pablo Neruda.  
> 
> 
> Please click in * for a special song I specifically thought when I wrote it.  
> Check my [pinterest](https://www.pinterest.es/hyuckmania/cold-water/) for a moodboard I made for this work.  
> Thank you to H for helping me trough the half of this work.  
> There's a mention of blood, not too much, but just in case anyone feels uncomfortable.  
> As always, please enjoy. 

Friday, July 13th. 

Mark hates drinking. He really hates it. Still, he finishes his just served drink in a gulp. 

"Tough night, uh?" 

Mark snorts at that. Being ditched in the middle of a rainstorm and getting dumped by text should be qualified as a tough night, right? 

"You could say that," Mark replies, taking a sip of his drink. What was it again? Whiskey or tequila? 

The bartender clicks his tongue. "Do you want to talk, dude?" 

Mark looks up from his drink to face the noisy guy. His only work should be serving drinks, why's he so into people business? But when Mark looks at him, he only sees a two pair of curiosity eyes, tinted with a bit of worry. The upright concern is drawn in his face, and honestly, Mark feels disarmed, like all the walls he has built are down with that look. 

It takes him just a second to realize that he should answer the guy before things get awkward. "My girlfriend ditched me." 

The bartender frowns at that, a tiny smirk starting to appear in his face. 

"She made me wait for her three hours under the rain," Mark explains to take away that smug look in the other's face. "And on top of that, she told me we weren't working, so she broke up with me, by a fucking text." 

The guy takes the closest bottle of whiskey he can reach and pours a drink in Mark's empty glass. 

"This one is up to me." 

Mark smiles. "I'm okay. That was a bitchy move, not gonna lie." 

"A bitchy move?" The bartender wheezes. "She was a coward, she couldn't even face you to finish stuff." He serves himself a drink and gulps it. He steals a glance at Mark, noticing he's staring at him. "That's fucked up." 

"You know the worst part?" 

Maybe is all the drinks he had in the last hour, but Mark wants to tell this stranger stuff he hasn't shared with anyone. Or maybe, it's because the guy probably won't judge him and won't laugh at him, since he needs the tip. It actually doesn't matter at this point, but if only this guy's willing to listen, he's going to tell him. 

The guy rests his elbows in the bar and takes a closer look at Mark's face. "What?" 

Mark takes a deep breath. "This isn't the first time that this has happened to me," The bartender nods. "Every time I get a girlfriend, she would ditch me in less than a month. I have had around ten girlfriends since I moved here. And I'm not counting all the dates and hook-ups I had." He pauses to take a sip and steals a glance to the dance floor. "You'll think I'm a Casanova, but I just…" 

He was wrong, he's not ready to say this out loud. He bumps his head against the bar and sighs, his lungs feel filled with sand, not really being able to formulate a word. There it is, the familiarity of the feeling of getting his heartbreak. You'll think that after getting dumped by every girl he has dated, he should be able to bear with it, but he's far from being okay. 

"You don't want to be alone?" 

Mark snaps his head so fast it makes him feel dizzy. He really doesn't need to confirm him that he has pinpointed something that Mark himself, has been tried so hard to ignore for so many years. Ever since he was a kid, he has learned to be independent and to carry himself if he ever faces a difficulty. But there's some emptiness in his lifestyle that he only has tried to fill with dates and girlfriends. It has helped him, most of the time. Till they decide they don't want him anymore, and he gets reminded that he's not enough, he never will. 

"Maybe you're looking in the wrong direction." The bartender says after a while, the ghost of a smile hanging in his lips. 

"What?" Mark speaks, his voice quaky. 

The bartender offers a sympathetic smile, looking at him with an undecipherable gaze. "Come around next time this happens and I'll tell you." 

Mark's confused. Why would he even come here again? He doesn't even drink that much, he just wanted to take off his mind of Hyorin. He shakes his head. "Not going to happen." 

"I'm Donghyuck," the bartender offers a hand. "Ask for me next time you come." 

"I told you-" Mark starts. 

Donghyuck cuts him off. "Yeah, yeah. I have seen a lot of guys like you. You'll come around, don't worry. For now, work's calling." He starts to walk off, but he stops when Mark calls for him. He looks at him over his shoulders. "What?" 

"I'm Mark." He says stupidly. 

Donghyuck smiles, a really grinning and wide smile; and just for a fragment of a second, Mark thinks that he likes it, he likes that smile. "Be careful in your way home, Mark." 

Mark debates for a while to call him again, a weird feeling in his chest wants to keep talking to Donghyuck for a bit more. 

Focus, Mark. 

He stands up, a little bit surprised he can walk in his feet. He pays the bill and adds a tip for Donghyuck. He heads to the door and doesn't dare to look back to see if Donghyuck's is seeing him go. He leaves the place feeling more lighted than when he entered the bar, and just that, makes a difference. 

* 

Saturday, August 11th. 

A month passes until Mark goes back to the bar. Not one has dumped him, though. He took a break from girls, college taking all his time too. 

Saturday night's in Seoul is all about drinks and parties and Mark's kinda tempted to accept one of his friend's party to the karaoke, but for some weird reason, he walks, without too much thought, and ends in Donghyuck's bar. It's called Zone. The name rings a bell of a song but Mark's to busy thinking the irony of the name. Isn't the Zone located in the Gangnam district, where literally all the attractions zones from Seoul are concentrated? 

"Very original," he sighs, entering the bar. It's really filling and the music thumps hard in his body. Even for a disco type bar, this one doesn't have those annoying lights that don't let you see shit. Mark passes through all the sweaty bodies till he can find a spot in the bar stools. 

A friendly bartender greets him. "Something in mind for tonight?" The guy's really handsome, even in the poor lighting, Mark notices. He has a good pair of killer dimples that for sure make him gain tips from girls. 

Mark shakes his face. "I'm looking for Donghyuck." 

"Donghyuck?" The guy's alarmed for a second before his face changes to a questionable look. Mark nods. "He doesn't have a shift today, though." 

Oh well, Mark didn't plan this. 

"Are you friends of him?" The guy screams over the music. 

Mark debates. "Sorta?" 

The guy doesn't look convinced. "I see," he gained his composure. "You have to drink if you want to stay here." 

"Gimme something light." 

Dimple-guy goes to the cocktail table and prepares a drink. He shakes it for a while and tosses to him. "Here," it looks like he wants to add something more, but he bites his tongue. 

"Thank's." Mark looks at him doubtfully and takes his drink. After taking a sip, he asks: "When is Donghyuck's next shift?" 

Well now, dimple-guy looks conflicted. He stares at one side of the bar and then to the other before he leans closer to Mark. "Listen, you didn't ask for it, but here's some advice: stay away from him." 

Mark raises an eyebrow. "Why?" 

The bartender shakes his head and bites his lip. "He's a good kid, don't get me wrong." 

"Then?" Mark can't help to feel protective of Donghyuck. They're not even friends, but he hates when people badmouth behind their backs. 

Dimple-guy gulps and scratches the hair behinds his ear. "He's problematic, from what I've heard. It could be true or it could be fake. But still, if people talk there must be some truth in it, right?" 

"That doesn't make sense. What do they say?" 

The bartender looks exhausted. "You seem like a nice guy, you know the one that goes to college and listens to his parents, so please, hear this out, just- stay away from him while you can." He picks up the glass and Marks stares at him, confusion all drawn in his face. Dimple-guy sighs defeated. "He only works on weekdays." With that, he leaves. 

Mark's considering to take a few more drinks but if he doesn't have someone to talk with, he doesn't want it. 

That's what he tries to tell himself after rejecting two guys and one girl that try to chatter with him. Yep, you caught him. He was looking forward to talking to Donghyuck, so it's really boring standing there alone. He leaves not before paying his bill. 

This time he doesn't feel light when he exits the bar. Just an odd feeling that he can only recognize as longing. Or close to it. 

* 

Friday, August 17th. 

Mark debates most of the weekend if he should go to the bar. He walks there, but before he can spot the place, he chickens out and leaves just as he came. It's not like he's suddenly scared that Donghyuck could be a killer or a gang member, no, he's confused, conflicted -if you want a more accurate expression-, most of the time. Not sure if he can face Donghyuck after what his workmate told him. He tries to remember that night, a month ago, that now seems an eternity to look at, to maybe spot some details, to find something, anything that slipped from Donghyuck and warned Mark that he was, indeed, a bad guy. 

But there wasn't any of it. 

It's just till Friday night, a week after his talk with dimple-guy that Mark can man up and visit Zone. 

The bar is full, but not really filled. There are more free stools next to the bar and Mark walks to them like a magnet. Donghyuck greets him enthusiastically before recognizing him. His face drops and he stutters before he turns his back to him. 

"Donghyuck?" Mark asks shyly. 

Donghyuck straightens his back and looks tense when he leans, slowly if Mark wants to add, to him. 

Ah, here it is. Just like the bartender told him the other day, Donghyuck smells like problems with that cut in the bridge of his nose and the bruise around his cheekbone. 

"I go to a fight club," he explains shortly, not looking at Mark's face, nervously touching his cheekbone. He serves Mark one whiskey on rocks in silence before speaking again. "I lost, obviously." He ends bitterly, trying to give him a tiny smile. 

Donghyuck seems tired, Mark notices. And not the type of tiredness that comes with having exams and works for college. He has the look of someone that has lived enough lives to tell you that life sucks. 

Mark takes a sip, just to do something and maybe to stop staring at the bruises. He didn't ask Donghyuck about them, but he still answered. He shifts in his seat and clears his throat. 

"I'm dating this girl." He starts and Donghyuck, to his surprise, looks skeptical. 

"Moving on way too fast, don't you think?" He brings a towel from his pocket and starts wiping the bar. 

"She's really, really, cute. Her name's Yuri," Mark continues, completely ignoring the look of pure boredom Donghyuck's giving him. Maybe he should leave, because, yes, Mark might be dense when it comes to uncomfortable situations, but he can take a hint. 

Donghyuck doesn't want him here. 

That realization hurts him more than it should. A vague voice in the back of his head remembers him that he's unwanted everywhere. 

Still, he wants to tell him. "For the first time in a while, I feel that she likes me more than I like her." Mark sighs and rests his head in the palm of his hand. 

Donghyuck hums distracted. "Give it time, I guess." 

Mark doesn't dare to look at his face, so he takes another sip, finishing his drink. "I guess." 

They stay there, for a really long second, before someone calls for Donghyuck and he has to leave, too excited to even keep his face flat. 

"Work's calling. See you around." Donghyuck waves him off before greeting some girls in the other corner of the bar. Mark asks for the bill and pays it, leaving the place in a rush. 

What's this heavy feeling seating in his chest? 

* 

Wednesday, August 29th. 

Mark keeps going on his life, trying hard in vain to keep Donghyuck out of his mind. It doesn't help that every time he's with Yuri he remembers him. Like, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with him? 

He always has been a curious guy, wanting to know more about everything he learns. That's how he keeps his scholarship, reading and doing research for every little thing they teach him in lectures. So meeting Donghyuck, he supposes, an enigma that he can't just google it or search it the library, makes his curiosity burst out. 

So it's not really a surprise, that just like last time, he takes a walk and ends in the doorframe of the bar, Yuri by his side, trying to look for him around, to spot his frame and just- What? Talk to him like they're friends? They're not even close to being acquaintances. 

But there he goes, again, staring at Zone, wanting no more to get in and demand some answers. He enters, resigned, on Wednesday night and sits in a table in the corner of the room, just to make sure that if Donghyuck wants to talk to him, he would approach him first. He taps the table with the rhythm of the song playing, humming under his breath to the lyrics, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. 

"For a person that says he won't come back, you sure have become like a regular customer," Donghyuck says, sounding genuinely surprised. This is the first time Mark can look at Donghyuck's figure. He's tall, but maybe Mark's wins him by a few centimeters. He has long legs, to which, Mark's jealous of since those skinny jeans make him look… "Seeing something you like?" Donghyuck teases. 

Mark forces a laugh. "It's weird seeing you like this, though maybe you didn't have legs at all." 

Are you for real, Mark Lee?! Please, God, kill me now, seriously. 

Donghyuck laughs. "I think you're the one weird here, though." He keeps his hands in his pockets and Mark remotely likes to imagine they're having a date, with how much casual Donghyuck looks with that black polo and his ripped skinny jeans. 

He snaps out of the fantasy. "The same, please." 

Donghyuck eyes him with a weird look. Then, he goes back to the bar and talks to someone. They nod and he comes back with one glass in his tray. He takes the seat in front of Mark and dares to send him a smile. 

"I have a break for ten minutes," he explains, again without Mark asking. The latter nods, taking his drink. "So, how are things with Yuri?" 

Mark sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. "I dunno. She's a good girl, honestly." 

Donghyuck scrunches his nose. "But?" 

"The ‘but' is me. I don't like her as I should. Like I normally do. I'm just there, looking like a damn sim waiting for a command." Donghyuck laughs loudly at the reference and Mark can sense him more relaxed than last time. He wanted to stay mad at him and maybe ask for an explanation. But here it is, the resentment he felt for the past days melts when he sees Donghyuck like that. 

"Do you want some advice?" Donghyuck asks after a moment. Mark nods, vaguely remembering Donghyuck's workmate said something similar last month. "Don't lead her on, you know how bad that feels." 

Mark ducks his head ashamed, knowing well he shouldn't have asked her out if he didn't even like her in the first place. 

"Back off, take a break from dates. Clear your mind and come here to get me out of my boredom, please." Donghyuck smiles again, but this is the first time that Mark realizes it really doesn't reach his eyes, and if he keeps staring at him, he can see that Donghyuck's forcing everything; from the way he's seating too relaxed in the chair, to his eyes, looking like two concrete walls, indecipherable. 

Mark licks his lips and plays with his fingers under the table. "Like you said last time, I'll give it time." 

Donghyuck mask drops for a millisecond and Mark can only recall the feeling that crossed his face a disappointment. He goes back to his bartender persona before Mark can confirm it. "Well, tell me how it goes." 

They chatted for the rest of Donghyuck break and when his boss calls him in again, he waves him off. 

"I still think you should back off with that girl. Doesn't it feel unfair?" He tells him, standing up, not really waiting to hear an answer from Mark. 

Donghyuck leaves to the bar and Mark watches him, focused on the little things that with the dim light of the bar, he can catch as Donghyuck habits. The way he talks to customers in a pout, or the way he laughs at something they tell him, scrunching his nose and leaning closer to them. Mark feels flush when Donghyuck catches him staring and mouths if there's anything wrong. He clears his throat and leaves the money in the table, rushing to the door. 

There's something roaring in his chest and even if he wants to deny it, he's familiar with this feeling. It might not be big to anyone, but to him is a revelation: he likes Donghyuck. 

He runs to the bus station, not sure of what's he so afraid of. He tells himself with a determination that he won't come back to Zone ever again. 

He said that the first time, but now when he says it, he knows is a big fat lie. 

* 

Thursday, October 18th. 

Mark doesn't go back to Zone, not really having enough energy to face Donghyuck and have a heart talk after discovering his feelings about him. 

So one, not so particular Thursday night, he goes to Yuri's dorm and breaks up with her. She's sweet till the end and makes Mark promise they can still be friends. The whole situation is weird and unknown to Mark. He never, in all his date life has finished things first, not really finding the heart to take the first step. But after telling Yuri his real feelings, he lifted a weight he didn't know he had in his shoulders. 

"I'm sorry." He tells to Yuri, to which she only gives him a sad smile. She tells him it's okay and that she'll see him around. Mark turns around and starts walking. 

Seoul's weather is starting to get chilly, the proximity of winter just around the corner. Mark puts his scarf closer to his face, his hands in the pocket of his parka and walks. To his (not) surprise, he ends again in Zone. He checks his phone and looks surprised at the hour. It's one in the morning. He's going to catch a cold if he stays outside. 

The bar this time it's not so filled, having around less than ten customers. He takes a stool next to the bar and waits for Donghyuck to notice him. 

"Mark!" Donghyuck squeals with delight, leaning closer to him. The bartender seems in a good mood. 

Mark? Not so much. "Hey." 

Donghyuck tilts his head confused. He takes a better look of Mark and the latter can sense a little bit of his cologne, a bittersweet taste, almost like cake flour with the citric smell of orange. 

"What's with your face?" 

Mark against his best try, stutters his next words. "What?" 

"You look like the first time you came here," Donghyuck offers. "Did Yuri dumped you?" 

Mark shakes in denying. "Dumped is an ugly word." 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes dramatically. "Well then, did she asked you nicely to stop bothering her with your insipid ass?" 

Mark stares at him poker-faced till they both break in a grin that turns quickly in a loud laugh. 

"I broke up with her." Mark talks later. 

Donghyuck nods in understatement. "How are you feeling?" 

Mark wants to say he feels terrible, that he's guilty she led her on for almost a month in something that wasn't even close to being real for him. But actually, he feels free, you could almost say he feels ready to take the first step with Donghyuck. 

But he won't. Not yet, though. 

"Really good, better than I think I should be. Does it makes me a bad person?" He replies, his voice graduating getting small with each word. 

Donghyuck takes Mark's chin with a finger till he meets his eyes. "You're not a bad person." 

Mark can sense a "like me" after Donghyuck says it. He nods, trying to evade his gaze. 

"My shift ends in five minutes, do you wanna grab some food after?" Donghyuck asks, giving him puppy eyes. 

"Yeah," he takes a second before debating his next words. If he wants to take the next step, he needs to work his way, right? "I'd like that." He ends saying, adding the special flirty eyes he uses with girls so they accept going to date. 

Donghyuck flushes against all his predictions and it makes him look more freshly, cute if Mark wants to get romantic. "Wait for me outside the bar." 

Mark nods enthusiastically and jumps from his seat to the exit. He checks his phone while he waits, not really talking with anyone, just to do something. Sicheng texted him to meet him tomorrow and do some homework together. He sighs, replying about moving their early date study to noon. It's already one in the morning, Mark doesn't think he can wake up at seven for his friend. 

"Ready?" Donghyuck hops to Mark, swaying in his heels, both hands behinds his back. 

Mark prays to all the gods he can remember so they stop him from kissing Donghyuck right there. He's using a black long jacket that covers his head, on top of a pink shirt and regular ripped jeans. To summarize, Donghyuck tops in the boyfriend look. 

He nods weakly and Donghyuck takes his hand and shows him the way to the bus stop. They take a taxi and Donghyuck suggests going to the Han River. They chatter the whole ride and Mark doesn't ask what they would do at one in the morning in that place. Donghyuck stops the taxi in a convenience store and pays it before Mark can say anything. 

They enter the convenience store in a rush, trying to run away from the cold breeze. 

Donghyuck heads to the drinks hall first. "Can you get some ramen? We can cook it outside." He makes a vague sign with one hand to indicate Mark the way. The latter does as he's told. 

There are not too many options, so he goes for regular ramen, hoping Donghyuck likes spicy food. He turns around the corner, handed with the cups of noodle, looking for Donghyuck. Except he doesn't see him anywhere. He moves to the chips stall and he's surprised – no, he's fucked. 

"What-"He starts but Donghyuck cuts him off, stepping closer to him and putting a bag of chips inside the pockets of his parka. "We can't-" 

"No one has to know," He whispers, close to his ear and takes the ramen from Mark's hand. He gives him a wickedly smile while he saves them inside his jacket. "Let's go." 

He doesn't wait for a reply and pushes him to the exit. Mark remains silent and stiff, moving in a robotic way. The cashier doesn't even look at them and when they get to ramen machine, Mark lets a sigh out he didn't know he was holding. 

"What the fuck?" He blurts out. Because, seriously? Was that even necessary? It's not like this wasn't even expensive. He stares at Donghyuck trying to see a little bit of guiltiness, but he can't find any as he prepares the food. 

"You have never done this before?" Donghyuck asks casually like he's asking him if he has ever ridden a bike. Mark takes Donghyuck wrist and the latter flinches at the contact. He releases himself brusquely. "Why don't you walk off and pretend you never meet me?" He spits, looking at Mark like he was challenging him, waiting for just one reply. 

And Mark, against all his reasoning, hesitates. He vacillates when he should turn around and go to his dorm and pretend the last three months never happened. Instead, he asks, "Why?" 

Donghyuck looks speechless. "You don't want to?" 

I should. "No." 

He gives Mark a melancholy smile. "Don't tell me I didn't warn you." 

They sit after their food is ready and eat in silence after that, the freezing breeze makes them slurp their food faster. And within minutes, they already finished their bowls of ramen. 

"What's your major?" Donghyuck asks, opening his coke. 

"Polity studies," He lets a small thanks when Donghyuck tosses him his sprite. "What about you?" 

Donghyuck looks unfazed as he answers. "I don't go to college." 

They avoid any other personal question after that. It's until Donghyuck gets a call that he notices the hour. It's five in the morning and he has to wake up in around five hours for his study date with Sicheng. Well, there goes nothing. 

When Donghyuck returns to the table, he doesn't look good. "I have to go." 

"Is everything okay?" 

Again, Donghyuck's eyes look like two concrete walls. He fakes a smile, to what Mark thinks, must be a reassuring one. "Yeah, nothing to worry." 

Mark doesn't pressure the subject and offers to walk Donghyuck to the bus stop. They walk silently, shoulders almost touching and Mark's really tempted to get him closer, to feel something warm in this chilly morning. Mark doesn't really feel his face at this point, and he's exasperated. He's been out all night, freezing his ass for this mysterious guy. He deserves a hug, man. 

He shakes his thoughts and looks for anything to distract him. 

The sky is slowly turning to a soft orange, as the first rays of sun make their way to Seoul. Mark's keeps daydreaming of the long nap he's going to take under all the blankets he finds in his dorm when Donghyuck touches his shoulders. 

"Are you coming tonight?" Donghyuck wonders, stealing a quick glance to his side before Mark can meet his eyes. 

"To what?" Mark's lack of sleep is already doing stuff in his head. 

"Cute," Donghyuck says under his breath. "To the bar, dummy. Will I see you tonight?" 

"Ah," Mark replies. "Yeah, sure." 

Donghyuck looks almost content. "See you there." With that, he stops a taxi and gets in. He rolls the window down and offers Mark a piece of paper. "Here's my number." 

Mark takes it quickly afraid he would regret it. Donghyuck lets a giggle out and waves him off. 

And like all the times he meets Donghyuck, Mark gets a funny feeling in the tip of his stomach, something close to anticipation and panic. 

* 

Friday, October 19th. 

As he promised Donghyuck, Mark's back at Zone that night. Like all the Fridays he has been here before, the bar is filled with college students and a few office workers, either dancing or drinking. Mark takes –what he supposes is- his regular stool. Donghyuck greets him, with arms crossed and a stern look on his face. 

It's when Mark sees Donghyuck's hands are bandaged and the black eye on his face, that he understands why Donghyuck's mood is terrible tonight. 

"Tough night, uh?" He repeats what Donghyuck told him the first time in hopes he can raise the mood. 

Donghyuck chuckles. "Tell me about it! People ignore me!" He whines, and with all the bad boy look vibes he's giving, Mark can't help to think he's cute. "I go and ask their order and they ignore me! It's a terrible night for tips." 

Mark laughs loudly. "Ah, I'm sorry, Hyuck. I'm here, that counts for something?" 

"I don't need tips from college kids." Mark leans into the bar and tries to slap him in the arm but Donghyuck's faster and avoids him. He sticks out his tongue playful. "Do you wanna hear a secret?" 

"I have a feeling you'll tell me even if I say no- Auch!" Donghyuck pinches him. "Okay, what's it?" 

"What kind of people do you think come to a bar on weekdays?" He asks, resting his face in the palm of his hand, the other playing in the table. 

"I dunno." Mark's fingers join him in the table. 

"Lonely people, mostly. People that appreciate someone that listens to them. I have so many stories to write a bestseller," Donghyuck makes his index and middle finger walk-on Mark's arm, making him feel goosebumps wherever he touches. "They always appreciate when someone gets genuine interest on them. They become regulars, after a while." He coughs in insinuation. 

"I gotta say you're a genius." Mark's actually impressed. It makes sense the way Donghyuck naturally approached him the first time in the bar and his aura in general, that made feel Mark confident to tell him anything. 

"On weekends, the people that come are broke college students that saved all week to come here. They don't tip," He finishes, straightening himself and getting away from Mark (which made him sadder than he should). "Which reminds me that you should drink something." 

"Can we drink a beer?" Mark suggests in a playful tone. Donghyuck nods in bemusement and brings two coronas. "Hey, Hyuck, can I ask you something? Don't feel like you need to answer." 

"Shoot," Donghyuck says after taking the first drink of his beer. 

Mark licks his lips, hesitating. Blame his curiosity. "I have always wondered if you ever got a heartbreak." 

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. "Do you think I'll give you advice if I didn't?" 

"So you had one?" 

"You have gotten witty," Donghyuck says, more to himself. "To answer your question, yeah, I had." 

Mark makes himself comfortable, ready to listen to Donghyuck. The bartender snorts at that. 

"Don't get your hopes up! It's a one side thing," Mark open his eyes wide, surprised. "We have been friends for… nine, ten years or so. He's my best friend. You could say he's my first love. You know- like how they say your first love is the one you compare everyone to? I don't think I'll ever meet anyone great as him." 

"That's deep." Mark's having a bad feeling about this, already regretting asking him about this in the first place. 

"You might see him and just be in awe at his pretty face, but he…. He was there when everyone turned his back to me. He saw me and offered me his friendship and that was just so fucking amazing. He showed me for the first time what was love about." 

Donghyuck stops to take a gulp of his drink. 

"I never told him how I felt, but one day he invited me for a coffee. He told me he knew that my feelings for him were romantic but he couldn't reciprocate them. I'm his" Donghyuck makes a sign with his fingers of quoting, "'little brother' after all." 

"I took rejection better than I expected, I guess," he continues, "I never thought a ‘happy ending' for us. We just moved on and I'm slowly letting him go." 

Mark nods because he simply doesn't know what to say or what he should comment on. The thought of Donghyuck getting rejected never really crossed his mind. Not so much less, that Donghyuck walls will slowly melt when he talked about that guy. 

It left him both sad and bitter. 

Sad, because he could feel his melancholy and his resignation of giving up, and in another parallel world where he didn't have a crush on him, he would tell Donghyuck to try again, to be honest with himself, but he doesn't want to lose him. 

And he's bitter, for obvious reasons. Actually, he's jealous of that guy, and he's not sure that if he ever gets to meet, he would control himself and not punch him in the face. How can he reject the Lee Donghyuck?! 

"You seem very fond of him." Is what Mark ends saying. 

"I am," Donghyuck, again, is not more than honest. "Actually… what are your plans for Halloween?" 

"Not sure, I'll have to see what my friends want to do." 

"Do you wanna go to a party with me?" Donghyuck smiles wickedly. 

Mark wants to scream yes, of course, I want to! But instead, he nods nonchalantly, just the tiniest smile is giving him away and Donghyuck's quickly to catch it. 

"I'll give you the details-" 

"Hyuck-ah!" Someone screams from the kitchen and Donghyuck's runs to it in a heartbeat. After that, he gets busy as people are drunk enough to ignore his black eye. Mark finishes his beer and waves at Donghyuck. The latter makes a sign of a phone, so Mark checks his. There's a single message. 

[00:56am] 

donghyuck <3 

thank you for listening. 

Mark's gets out before he starts screaming. 

I'll listen when you're ready, is what he wants to reply, knowing deep down that one day he would have to face him and ask him about his bruises. He texts him in the taxi on his way home. 

[01:02am] 

you 

I'm here whenever you want to get sappy. 

Always, and about everything. 

To say that Mark's scared and excited about this party is an understatement. But he's getting used to feeling like this, having Donghyuck in his life feels just like a missed puzzle in his life. 

* 

Saturday, October 26th. 

Donghyuck tells Mark the details early that morning. The place is a house in Gangnam, the most expensive and wealthy place to live in Seoul; which is weird and fishy. Why's Donghyuck, a bartender, having a party in a place like this? 

He pays the taxi and walks to the door. The house alone is screaming to Mark that he's poor. He shakes the thought and rings the bell, listening to the sound of music that comes from the third floor. In the screen, two guys appear. 

"Did someone ask for a delivery?!" Screams one and Mark tries to keep a poker face. The other guy eyes him concentrated and after a large second, he seems to recognize him. 

"Aren't you friends of Donghyuck's?" 

"Yeah," Mark tries to stay calm. It could happen to anyone. Really. Be confused as the delivery guy? What kind of delivery guy uses a leather jacket, asshole? "He invited me over." 

The first guy flushes as he realizes his mistake. "Dude! I'm sorry. I'll be down in a bit, wait." 

With that, the screen goes black. Mark takes the minute alone to fix his hair and jacket. For a Halloween party, no one's using costumes. He's glad he didn't prepare anything; he would only embarrass himself even more. 

The door cracks open and dumbass guy offers a smile. "I'm really sorry, seriously. This is so embarrassing." 

The dumbass guy looks genuinely sorry, so Mark gives him that. He assumes all rich boys have that mentality. "It's okay, dude. Can I come in?" 

"Totally! Donghyuck never brings friends over." Dumbass guy comments, guiding Mark upstairs to the sound of the music. 

"Really?" With how friendly Donghyuck is, Mark would have thought he had thousands of friends. 

"Yeah, weird coming from him, uh?" The guy is really tall, like absurdly tall. Mark realizes that when he almost reaches the big chandelier hanging in the second floor. "I'm Johnny, you're Mark, right?" 

"Right." Mark nodes vaguely, staring at the house and the wealthiest in it. It was big and wide open, with gray and black furniture, shiny floors. The stairs were made of glass and Mark was afraid it will break as soon he stepped in. He follows Johnny to the end of the hall, where a single stair takes them to, what Mark assumes is, the rooftop. The music sounds louder, an EDM theme that instinctively makes him bounce his head to the rhythm. 

As soon they reach the floor, he's welcomed by a crushing hug from a drunk Donghyuck. "Duuuuuude, thought you'd never come!" He spits in Mark's face. 

"Donghyuck, its 10 pm." He tries to clean his face with his free hand, the other one taking him by the wrist, trying to keep him balanced. 

The younger shuts after that and drags him to sit on the sofa. "It doesn't matter! Really!" 

Mark laughs at Donghyuck's overflowing cuteness. "For a bartender, you seem to not take well alcohol." 

Donghyuck seems offended as he points a finger in Mark's chest. "And for a broke college, you love to tip me a lot!" 

The guy that recognized him in the screen clears his throat. "Can you two stop flirting in front of me?" 

Mark realizes how close the two of them are and reluctantly makes a distance from Donghyuck. 

"Zhong Chenle!" Donghyuck calls, standing up and taking the boy from his shoulders, giving him a side hug. "Here's my dumpy guy! Mark!" 

Chenle laughs amused, fondness dripping from his eyes when he looks at Donghyuck. He turns his head and offers a hand. "At your service," he winks and takes Donghyuck's waist with one arm and sits him the sofa again. "Donghyuck talks a lot about you." 

"He even has a nickname for me," Mark comments bitterly. 

"The nickname was my idea, actually." Tall guy- no, Johnny interrupts, taking a seat next to Donghyuck. 

"You're really climbing in my hit list," Mark says, without malicious in it. 

"I'm surprised he made it to your hit list in less than 5 minutes." Another guy barges in, taking a chair and offering his lap to Chenle. "He spilled coffee on my Valentino bag the second I meet him. I was ready to risk it all and punch him in the face." 

"Taeil! I already paid you for that." Johnny whines from his seat. 

"Every birthday, yeah," Taeil nods smiling. He turns to Mark and offers a hand. "I'm Moon Taeil. You must be Mark?" 

Mark stands from his seat to shake Taeil's hand. "Y-yeah." His eyes crack open when he realizes the guy's last name. "Wait, Moon, like the candidate for president?" 

Taeil scratches the back of his head. "That would be my father. Do you know him?" 

"He gave a lecture in my college," Mark explains, trying to not freak out about the whole situation. He's meeting the son of a celebrity! Not an actual celebrity, but still. 

"He's got what they need, but I don't think he actually wants to run for the presidency. He's doing lobby for our company," Taeil explains. "My grandfather wants him to win, though." 

Mark realizes his mouth is wide open when Donghyuck closes for him. "You work for Moon's co.?" 

Taeil makes a gesture with his hand of denying. "No! Dear god, no. I can't keep up with my grandfather." 

Donghyuck suddenly stands up. "I'm going to the bathroom." Mark nods, without paying too much attention. 

"I just finished my degree in International Business," he continues, patting Donghyuck's butt when he passes by, "I plan on working in China or the US, anywhere but here with my grandfather." 

"That's amazing," Mark's dumbfounded. "I also think your dad's charismatic enough to run for the presidency. I had to do a study of his politic career, to see his potential for the job. He was doing so well. I legit thought he would win." 

Johnny whistles at that. "Pretty impressive, Mark." 

The younger flushes at the compliment. "Thanks." 

"So you're doing Political Studies?" Chenle wonders, taking Donghyuck's spot on the sofa. Mark nods. "That's amazing! I always wanted to give it a try." 

"Really? What's your major?" 

"It's my first year in Finance-" 

Chenle's interrupted when a petite guy interrupts in the conversation and starts speaking to him in Chinese. The only two words Mark can get, from the lessons Sicheng gave him, are a fight and older brother. Chenle stands up alarmed and follows the guy. The other two, Johnny and Taeil, share a look of worry before doing the same. 

Mark stands up too and follows the older guys to the center of the party. From the spot of his sofa, he vaguely thought why the hell so many people were focused in a circle. But now that he gets closer, he can see the face of worry and fear in people's face. He gets a bad feeling about this. 

"Yukhei! You crazy bastard!" Johnny screams, pushing people to get to the center of the circle. 

Mark just a foot behind, sees with shock Donghyuck's unconscious body in the floor. He can hear from the back of his mind the music of the party, the screams in Chinese from Chenle and Taeil's voice calling Donghyuck's name. But for now, he's scared. He can't take his eyes off Donghyuck's broken lip and his closed eyes. He rapidly remembers to check if he's breathing. Then he checks his pulse. 

Donghyck's alive. He's alive. It's going to be okay. 

He snaps the second he sees the blood coming from his nose. "We need to take him to emergency!" He screams to no one in particular, taking his phone. 

Everyone falls silent after that. Johnny snaps the other's phone. Chenle glares at him from his spot stupefied. 

"Are you crazy?!" Taeil is the first to break the silence, hissing between his teeth. "His father's going to kill him for real." 

"Take him to his place and call Sooyoung, Johnny," Chenle says, avoiding to look at Donghyuck's face. "I'll talk with Yukhei." 

Johnny nods. "Taeil, make sure no one says a word here. Chenle, tell Yukhei to come to my office tomorrow morning," Chenle nods firmly, before taking a tall guy's wrist with him. "Mark," He stares at him, apparently looking for something. When he doesn't find any of it, he carries Donghyuck in bridal style, "Come with me." 

With that, both guys exit in silence the house to the chilly night. Mark feels like throwing up the whole way to the house next door. Another expensive one to help Mark's nerves, on top of that. He follows Johnny diligently until they enter a bedroom. The first thing he notices is the big portrait of a Michael Jackson art. The second is that everything seems too clean and neat. Almost too perfect to be a teenager room. 

Johnny lays Donghyuck in the bed and lets out a sigh when the younger makes a noise of discomfort. "Yukhei always gets in his nerves," Johnny comments under his breath, giving Mark's phone back and taking his own phone instead. "I'm going to make a call." 

Mark nods from the doorframe. He takes a step inside and sits in Donghyuck's bed. He cleans his nose with his shirt. "Why do you do this?" He whispers, caressing the younger's face with the tip of his fingers, afraid to hurt him. He sighs and tries to recall the night, when did everything go wrong? 

"I guess you're not used to this," Johnny enters the room and sits in the floor next to Donghyuck's bed. "They always fight, but it has never ended like this." 

"Who the fuck is Yukhei?" Mark ask cautiously. He's never the angry type, but he's more than ready to have a word with the fucker. 

"His father is Donghyuck's father rival. He comes to our parties and provokes Donghyuck," He sighs. "They fight for a bit and that's it." 

"If you know what's going to happen, why do keep inviting him?" 

"Mark," Johnny says patiently, "Don't take this wrong way, but if you're not in this business, you wouldn't understand." 

"You're right. I don't understand," Mark snaps angrily, raising his voice. "I don't understand why Donghyuck gets bruises or why you seem so calm about your friend being almost killed in your rooftop." 

Like an offer of peace, a girl in pajamas enters the room. "Johnny." 

Johnny doesn't break the eye contact with Mark when he greets their visitor. "Hey." 

The girl nods and stands next to Donghyuck, frowning. "This kid… Who was it this time?" 

Johnny shakes his head in defeat. "Yukhei. Blood was coming from his nose, but I don't think is serious." 

Mark chokes on his breath. "How can you say it's not serious?!" 

Johnny and the nurse, Mark observes, when she takes all her medical equipment, share a look of concern. 

"Kid, let's talk," Johnny sighs. "Sooyoung, take care of him." The girl, Sooyoung, nods. 

For a legit second, Mark wants to be rebellious and tell him, that no, they won't talk. But his curiosity is blooming and he needs answers and if this guy is going to enlighten him, then what about losing some of his dignity? 

Johnny takes the lead, guiding Mark to the first floor. When they reach the doorframe of the kitchen, he offers him a seat in the bar stool. 

"How long you and Donghyuck had been friends?" Johnny serves a glass of water to himself. "Water?" 

"No," Mark replies smugly. "About being friends with him…. I dunno. This is the second time we have hung out." 

Johnny nods and when he speaks, his voice is light, without venom in it, "Donghyuck's problematic." 

Mark rolls his eyes. "Now you're warning me? Isn't he your friend?" 

"Yes and yes. I'm warning you because this isn't the last time this is going to happen." 

"How can you be so sure?" The younger's tone is astonished. 

"You don't know anything about him, who can you understand?" Johnny says under his breath, looking at his fingers. "Donghyuck's a very loveable person, you can't help to fall for his charms. But there's so much he doesn't let people see and I'm afraid that when you-," now he meets Mark's eyes, "when you know, you'll run away." 

"I like him," Mark splutters, without too much thought. "I like him a lot. And I know, god," he hides behind his hands, "that day when he stole in the convenience store, he asked me to leave and I was about to do it, but-" 

"But you couldn't?" Johnny supplies, understanding, like he knew how conflicted Mark was because he also went through that. 

Mark doesn't need to speak; his feelings are drawn all over his face. 

The older nods contemplative. "Ask him for the truth." 

"What if he lies to me?" 

Johnny almost laughs when he gets off the chair. "When's Donghyuck no more than honest?" 

They enter the bedroom in silence like it has been the whole way to the second floor. Sooyoung is there, picking up her stuff. Donghyuck's has new clothes and his face is clean from the blood. Just like this, he seems to be sleeping peacefully. 

"He's okay," She sighs, caressing Donghyucks checks. "Exhausted, mostly. It seems he hasn't been eating well," Sooyoung brush the hair from Donghyuck's forehead. "I injected him with some vitamin, he should wake up in two hours." 

"Thank's, Sooyoung," Johnny pats her shoulder. 

"I'm a call away, Johnny," She whispers, closing his bag. He turns to face him, a look that expresses the tiredness of someone that has said something more than once. "But what's going to happen when I'm not a call away? But an hour? Or a day? Or not even at all?" 

"Sooyoung…" Johnny's hand turn into a fist. "He won't go. You know I have tried." 

"I know, I know, god," Sooyoung voice cracks, a tear streaming in his beautiful face. "It hurts me seeing him like this. I'm a doctor but I can't cure his illness." 

Johnny hugs her, laying his chin in the other's head. "I'm his friend but I can't do much either." 

Mark feels his heart sank, touched by the scene. He gets closer to Donghyuck and intertwines his fingers. "I'm here, I'm here," he repeats like a mantra, laying on the floor, his face resting in the sheets. 

"Stay tonight, Mark" Johnny's voice sounds raspy, like he's holding the tears. "I'll come around tomorrow." 

Mark nods from his position, not daring to turn his gaze away from Donghyuck. He needs to see the younger chest's moving, indicating his lungs are filling with air. He needs to make sure that he's breathing and alive. 

The couple leaves and after a while, he doesn't know when it happened, Mark dozes off and falls asleep, half of his body on the floor and the other in Donghyuck's bed. He's shaken awake later on by Donghyuck's fingers brushing his hair. 

"Hyuck," Mark croaks, incorporating. 

The younger smiles weakly. "Hey." 

"How are you feeling?" Mark cups the other's face with one hand, his eyes are filled with worry when he searches for any sign of pain. 

"I'll be okay, I just passed out," Donghyuck explains lightly, making a gest of his hand to rest importance. "It has happened to me before, honestly, I dunno-" 

"Donghyuck…." Mark interrupts, shaking his head. "I have never asked you, but I need to know why." 

Donghyuck stays stills, his eyes don't leave the ceiling when he speaks. "It's better if I lie to you." 

"No. Tell me the truth," Mark whispers. "Tell me why. Why do you fight so much?" 

"You'll leave," Donghyuck speaks, looking at Mark with sad eyes that reflect the honesty of his words. And that hurts him. How many people have left Donghyuck's side to give him that look on his face? The resignation that people will leave. "Or you'll pity so much that I'll leave." 

"I won't," Mark says with determination. 

"Mark…." Donghyuck sighs with tears in his eyes, he wants to fight him on this, but Mark's look disarms him. "You won't like this and it's okay. This is my life and I have come terms with it," He warns. 

Mark nods and waits patiently to Donghyuck to speak. The younger shifts in his spot and sits in the bed, his back resting in the wall. 

"My childhood wasn't the most memorable one," He starts, keeping his eyes glued to the window. "I went to school, did my homework and saw my parents fight in the dinner. I never knew what was a birthday party or a goodnight kiss. And I was okay with it, honestly," He pauses and clears his throat. "But my mom…" Donghyuck's voice croaks and he takes a deep breath before starting again. "It was different for her. When I was nine, she left and my dad started beating me." 

The sound of their breaths is the only thing filling the room. Mark realizes, right there, on the cold floor of the room, the tiredness in Donghyuck's features. 

"You could say he did it almost by mistake," Donghyuck continues nonchalantly. "I got from school late. My friends and I tried for the first time marijuana and I was so high that night. I started screaming in the lobby of our house till I woke up my dad. We started fighting, something we were doing often when I blamed him for my mom's escape. He slapped me in the face." 

He takes a shaky breath. "Next day, he gave me a new phone. After that, it became a routine. He will beat me and the next day, he would buy something expensive and tell me how sorry he is. And I would believe him." 

Mark's feels a shiver run through his spine. He realizes the nights where Donghyuck would evade his gaze and tell him, he lost at the fight club. Or when he flinched at the contact of Mark's hand in his wrist. He understands the dullness in Donghyuck's eyes, the vague memory of better days was written in his face. But now, there was any of it. 

"People in school started to whisper behind my back. They were scared, they thought I was a gang member. Other people assumed right, that my dad was beating me," He plays with his fingers over the sheets, not daring to meet yet Mark's gaze. "I started going to a fight club. At first, it was to cover the stories about me. Now, I wait for the day I can fight back." 

"Donghyuck…" Mark grimaces, searching for the other's hand and squeeze it. 

"I tried to run away, you know?" Donghyuck laughs dryly and his eyes fill with tears, "I thought that it couldn't get worse. But it got," He hiccups now. His mascara has dropped by now, the pure look of pain and suffering are drawn in his face. 

Donghyuck's has never looked so more vulnerable than now. In Mark's eyes, Donghyuck was a tough guy, one that looked intimidating and mature. Yeah, he was funny and loveable once you meet him, but he looked stiff and robotic. Now? He looks younger, like a lost kid in a sea of people. He searches for Mark's other hand and squeezes it. 

"He took me away from college and made me a prisoner in this house," He makes a gesture at the place. "I have a watchdog in the daytime. In the night, when he leaves, I go to the bar and work. I can't do it on the weekends because he stays here." 

Looking the way Mark's eyes wide open, he rushes to calm him down. "He's in Taiwan now." 

Mark feels his mouth dry, at the look in Donghyuck's eyes of pure horror. He has given up in life, Mark realizes with a pain in his heart. Donghyuck doesn't care about his life anymore. Everything makes sense when Sooyoung said there's some illness that even doctors can't cure. 

"Don't look at me like that," He says, shutting his eyes. "Don't pity me." 

"I can't help it," Mark replies miserable, his own eyes filling with tears. "I like you," Donghyuck gasps surprised. Mark moves their hands and places them together in his chest, just over his heart, that's beating like a crazy. "I'm here. You don't have to be alone. I will stay with you." 

"What if I hurt you?" Donghyuck ducks his head and whispers his words. 

Mark takes his chin with his fingers and leans closer. So close their noses are almost touching. 

"If it's you, it'll be worth it," he whispers, closing their distance and kissing him. 

The kiss is everything and more Mark wanted. There's the taste of blood in his mouth and in another situation, it would gross him out, but now, he just wants to devour it all, to erase it from his existence, from his memory. His hands linger around his waist and Mark pulls Donghyuck closer, his tongues meeting. They kiss slowly like they have all the time in the world. Their mouths dance around the other, stopping in synchronization to take a grasp of air, then they start all over again, grabbing the other lips. Suddenly, the room is too hot and Mark's sweating, even though Seoul weather is chilly. 

They land softly in the bed and Donghyuck breaks the kiss, out of breath, nose touching the other's chin. One arm lands in Mark's waist and pulls him closer to his body. Their legs meet and tangle together. They sleep that night like that, hearts beating closer, dreaming for better days. Or just days, but together. 

* 

Days pass by and Mark gets used to his new Donghyuck's agenda. He goes to the bar, waits for him to finish his shift and walks him home. There are days where he stays the night, cuddling him under the blankets, watching a bad sitcom that his boyfriend always like to see. They find their ways to have dates, to talk on the phone and share happy memories. 

But there are Bad days. Those days consist of Donghyuck's father beating him so bad that he will have to stay in bed all day. Mark would go and check on him later at night when his watchdog isn't in the house. Those bad days, Donghyuck would whine about wanting to be alone; too ashamed to look at Mark's face. He would lock in his room, not letting Mark enter (his boyfriend tells him where's the spare key but doesn't let him enter his bedroom). So he would stay there, next to the door, telling Donghyuck about his day, talking to him, letting him know he's not leaving. 

Thankfully, there are not so much of those days when Mark starts his winter break and Donghyuck's father has to leave for two weeks. They still can't meet in the daytime, but they make their way to avoid Donghyuck's watchdog in the weekends. 

"I still think night's in Seoul is better," Donghyuck sings brightly when they're waiting in the line to enter the amusement park one Saturday afternoon. 

In the nick of time, Mark has gotten cheesier. He leans closer to the other's ears and says bluntly: "I still think night's with you are better." 

Donghyuck slaps him in the arm with his free hand, the other's holding Mark's hand. 

"You're so bad at flirting. How did you get so many girlfriends?" He complains, turning his head to the other side. 

"You like it, don't you?" Mark leans closer and steals a kiss of his boyfriend. "You're blushing!" 

"I'm flushing because I pity you," He admits, pouting his lips. He's asking to be kissed at this point. "We're in public! I know I'm irresistible but damn..." He shakes his head but ends replying the kiss. 

Mark would miss those days when he entered the college next year. So he won't take for granted his free time with Donghyuck. He's going to kiss him, hug him and express his feeling for him every day, and there's nothing the younger can do about it. 

"I like you, Lee Donghyuck," He shares with him like it's his most precious secret. 

Donghyuck leans closer till their forehead are touching. "I like you, even more, Lee Minhyung." 

They're happy and the best part is that they're making this work. 

* 

Sunday, December 23rd. 

It's a lazy afternoon in Donghyuck's house when that said boy tells Mark his worst plan ever. 

"So, what do you say?" They're spread, next to each other in the bed of Donghyuck's game room. The younger's resting his chin in Mark's chest, looking at him with gleam eyes. The one that Mark doesn't know how to say no. 

"Are you sure your father won't realize you bought two business class tickets to Tokyo?" Mark asks, his hand massaging Donghyuck's scalp. 

The younger closes his eyes, relaxed under Mark's touch. "No, he won't." 

"And your watchdog?" 

"Yeah, about him…" Donghyuck looks reluctantly when he avoids Mark's inquisitive eyes. He puts his best innocent look and Mark immediately knows he did something. 

"What did you do now?" 

Donghyuck jumps from his seat. "Nothing! I swear." 

Mark pushes him lightly to his embrace again. "I have heard that before." He leans his face closer to the younger, an uncomfortable position for his neck, to kiss his forehead softly. 

Donghyuck whines, defeated. "Okay, okay. I didn't do anything on purpose." 

"Donghyuck, when you say that you never did it on purpose, it means the opposite." 

The younger turn his head to lock eyes with Mark, a tint of playfulness and mischievous hides in his caramel eyes. "You got me," He sighs, and rolls himself from Mark's chest to his opened arm. One leg lays in Mark's waist and his hand plays with Mark's button shirt. "I just happened to slip some of my orange juice in the stairs… I really wanted to clean it! But before I could Minhyuck was already at the end of the stairs." 

There's a silence before Mark lets a chuckle. "Is he okay?" 

Donghyuck shrugs. "Yeah, he just broke his right arm. My father said that he would try to look for another watchdog, but meanwhile, I would have to spend Christmas with our maid." 

"Mrs. Boyoung?" 

"Yeah! And you know that she loves me," Donghyuck says smugly. "She won't say anything to my father. And he returns on the 27th. So we have plenty of time to travel to Tokyo around." 

"I'm not sure…." Mark sighs, looking at the ceiling. "I know that you're rich-" 

"My father's rich." Donghyuck interrupts, his breath tingling in Mark's neck. 

"Your father is rich," Mark corrects himself, rolling his eyes. "But I feel bad, I can't even think how I can repay you." 

Donghyuck raises one eyebrow. "Why would you need to repay me?" 

Mark stands in one elbow to look at Donghyuck's face. "Babe," his hands travel around the floor to take Donghyuck's hand in his, "you're just giving me the most expensive holiday ever. You already told me I'm just a broke student." 

Donghyuck laughs softly, before biting his lip. "Let me be cheesy for a second." 

Smiling like a fool, Mark nods. 

The younger reflects a one just similar. "Before you ask, I want to let you know I like poems," Mark frowns, the smile not even close to leaving his face. "I was reading this poem that reminded me of you." 

"Which one?" 

Donghyuck flushes. "I memorized it." He shifts in his seat, looking at Mark with those rounded eyes, that doesn't hide from him anymore. He clears his throat. "Before loving you, love, nothing was mine: I hesitated through the streets and things: nothing mattered or had a name: the world was of the air that I awaited." 

Mark stays silent, looking at Donghyuck like the first time he sees him. And he loves what he sees, from the way his eyes are hiding behind his bangs; to his nose scrunching in the way it always does when Donghyuck's shy; to his heart shape lips that are curling up in a smile; to his caramel skin shining under the last rays of the afternoon sun. And he loves it, he loves this person. He looks at him and he craves to touch him, to feel his mouth in his, to feel his skin burning under his touch. He crawls to Donghyuck physically -and figuratively- and kisses him, because what else he can do? 

"You came to my life and changed it. You opened my heart and made a space for yourself. I always thought the home was a place and I never had that…" Donghyuck sighs, cupping Mark's checks with both of his hand and leans even closer to their foreheads tipping, "But when you hold me I feel that you're home." 

"I love you, Donghyuck. No matter what," Mark speaks, stealing a kiss. "Thank you for being everything I've dreamed and a little bit more." 

Donghyuck kisses him, smiling in the kiss. "Is that a yes?" 

Mark laughs loudly before throwing him a pillow. "You're a player!" 

* 

Friday, March 8th. 

Taeyong scowls at Mark from his seat in the first row of the classroom, after the teacher calls for him after class. The younger avoids the blonde one incriminating gaze, the rest of the lecture. He also recoils from his essay score. 

**63,5%.**

He never, in all his academic life, has ever got something less than 80%. His scholarship can't be on risk because of this, right? 

He picks up his books and bag from his seat and walks to Mr. Min table. 

"Mr. Lee," The professor greets him, looking at him behind his rounded glasses. "I have to say that I'm really disappointed with this work." 

Mark ducks his head in shame, his hand is held together in front of him. 

"Is anything wrong?" Mr. Min tone changes to a soft concern. "I'm very aware of your scholarship, Mark." 

Mark's eyes widen in fear. Mr. Min is quick to calm him down. "You'd have to do the retake and take a few private classes with my assistant. Here's his number," he writes a series of numbers on top of Mark's essay, "his name is Kim Namjoon." 

"Mr. Min… I-" Mark feels a stone in his throat, this is the lowest score he has ever got and taken a retake is a punch more to his confidence than anything else. 

"You're a great kid, Mark," Mr. Min sighs, taking his glasses off and keeping them inside his jacket. He pats Mark's shoulder. "One of my best students. But you have to stop and re-order your priorities. Your education comes first, Mark. Remember that." With that, he leaves the room. 

Mark drags himself out of the classroom, to find, the person he really doesn't want to face; not after his conversation with Mr. Min. 

"Meet me in our café spot in ten minutes," Taeyong warns one finger pointing accusingly. "Don't show and I swear to god, I'll call your mom." 

Taeyong leaves just like he came. Mark takes several breaths before leaving the block to the seats next to the lake, their regular place to meet to study with his best friends Taeyong and Sicheng. It seems like an eternity since the last time they were here. 

Sicheng's already there, sitting comfortably in a chair, blowing his tea. "Merci de venir," he greets sarcastically, not daring to look at Mark's face. 

Taeyong sits after Mark, sipping his Americano angrily. 

The place is too quiet for Mark liking. "Enough! It's just a bad score. Not the end of the world." 

Taeyong frowns deeply if that's even possible. "Just a bad score? Your scholarship is on risk, Mark." 

"I forgot, okay? It slipped my mind." Mark pouts, arms crossed against his chest. 

"It slipped your mind the most important grade for the final score of the class?!" Taeyong screams, his hands turned into a fist. 

Sicheng shakes his head in disappointment. He never scolds Mark but when he does, he knows what to say. "Did slip your mind that your scholarship can be at risk? Are you forgetting that if you lose it, you'll have to pay your past semesters? Where are you going to find the money? From Donghyuck's?" 

Mark gasps, surprise and hurt drawn in his face. "Don't put Donghyuck in this-" 

"No, we have to put Donghyuck in this, Mark," Taeyong says, "You're ditching class or sleeping in lectures." 

"You've changed," Sichend sentences, "You go to bars and drink. You stay up all night and sleep at day. Look at you, Mark. Where were you for Doyoung's or Jungwoo's birthday?" He slightly looks offended, "Yeah, we might not have money like your new friends, but we are your friends, right?" 

"Guys, you are my friends…" Mark feels guilty because Sicheng's saying the truth. "But you wouldn't understand. Donghyuck needs me." 

"You need college," Taeyong replies forcefully. 

"We're not here to nag at you," Sicheng clears his throat, shifting in his seat, "We're your friends and we're worried about you." 

"Do the retake, focus on classes," Taeyong intervenes with a placating tone, "Come to classes and don't ignore our studies sessions." 

"Okay," Mark sighs, defeated. "I'll do it." 

Taeyong stands up and puts an arm around Mark's shoulders. Sicheng brush Mark's hair from his seat. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers so quietly that he's sure no one heard him. 

"We know, kid," Taeyong whispers, placing his chin on top of his head. "We know." 

* 

That night Mark goes to the bar, as he does all the nights since he started dating Donghyuck. He climbs in the stool that's in the corner of the bar and waits for his boyfriend to notice him. 

"Hey, sexy," Donghyuck smiles wide open and Mark can't stop to lay his eyes in the bandages under his chin, "missed me?" 

Mark's faces fall and he croaks, "Yeah." 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Donghyuck reaches for his chin and makes him lock eyes with him, "did someone hurt you?" 

Mark hears a loud sob over the music and looks around for the source of the sobbing before he realizes that it's him. 

Why he was crying? He totally should have seen it coming. He was being a rascal without consideration. Spending all night with Donghyuck, sleeping two or three hours to get ready for classes or skipping his alarm and staying the morning in his bed. He placed Donghyuck first, he's not going to lie. Even when he had girlfriends before, this never happened before. 

"Mark…" Donghyuck is out of the bar table and is guiding Mark to the staff room, "What's it?" 

Mark tries to tell him something, to speak but the only thing he does is cry. Donghyuck folds him in his arms and hugs him tightly. Mark tries to bite his tongue to stop sobbing, but it does nothing when Donghyuck hands are moving rhythmically in his back, soft whispers in his ears. He melts at his warmness and cries until he can breathe properly. 

"I'm going to sound like a nerd," he starts, pulling away to clean his nose, "but I got a bad score in this essay and I'll have to do a retake," he can help the way his voice sounds bitter at the mention of that word, "and take private classes… This has never happened to me. What am I going to do? What if I lose my scholarship?" 

Donghyuck holds him again, like Mark's about to break at any second and threads his fingers in the back of his head. "That's it?" 

Mark shakes his head. "My teacher scolded me, my best friends scolded me too. I feel like a failure." He looks miserable and sounds like one too. "I'm not good at anything else than studying and then I get this? There's so much pressure and I try to be cool with it, but I feel that I'm hanging on a cliff and I wonder if I should take a step forward and give up." 

"Hey, it's okay. I'm sure this never happened to you," Donghyuck reaches up, touches Mark's face, guiding his chin up to look at him, "but these things happen. You have a solution, right? Study for your retake and go to your private lessons. We can make this work, alright?" 

Mark stays quiet after that, looking at their shoes on the floor. One hand squeezes his thigh and he looks up to Donghyuck. He got a new hobby to make up and use glitter eyeshadow. Now's red. Using for tonight a collarless striped shirt red, tucked in the front of his black jeans, using black military boots. He looks beautiful and his. 

"Yeah, we can," he replies and leans closer, Donghyuck meeting him in the kiss, "I won't come over here that much, though. I can't walk you home." 

Donghyuck flashes a smirk. "It's okay, babe. You'll do great, alright? I trust you. Besides, I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself." 

Mark pushes his bottom lip out, a terrible tendency he copied from Donghyuck's, "I'm sorry. I know you had plans for us next week…" 

Donghyuck catches his bottom lip and kisses it. "We have plenty of time together, Mark Lee. You're not going to get away from me easily." 

"I wasn't planning to do so." 

"That's good." 

And it's is. This might be the strangest relationship you have ever seen, but they make it work. Through Donghyuck's shift and his prohibition to be seen in the daytime, Mark has found the hours to be with him, to orbit around him. This time, he slipped a tiny mistake that has a solution. He's going to do the retake and go on a date with Donghyuck after. 

"Mark," Donghyuck stands and hold his hand out to Mark, "come dance with me." 

"Uh, no, thank's." 

"Why not?" 

"Donghyuck," Mark looks at Donghyuck like he just lost his mind, "the last time I danced was in middle school. The shortest waltz in history." 

"You can't be that bad," Donghyuck retorts, "C'mon," He tuts Mark by his waist, doing his best impression of puppy eyes, "Please." 

"Are you using the pouting card with me?" 

"But it's working, isn't it?" Donghyuck pushes his bottom lip out and flutters his eyelashes coquettishly, aiming for a shy look. 

"Keep going, I guess," Mark grins and lays his hand on the other's ass, patting it. 

"I want to dance with you, Mark. Just one song and then you can go. Yes?" Donghyuck smirks, that little shit. 

Mark sighs like he regrets everything that brought him to this moment. "Okay." 

He lets Donghyuck drag him out of the staff room to the dance floor. He makes a sign to his co-worker, Jaemin and settles his hands on Mark's shoulders as Crush voice fills the place. Donghyuck hips start to sway to the beat and Mark hooks a finger on the belt loop of his jeans and yanks him close until their chests are flushed against each other. 

The multi-colored lights are playing on Donghyuck's face, his eye makeup shinning, from time to time. His caramel eyes reflect the colors and his lashes flick up and down rather attractively every time he blinks – and Mark wants to ask him where did he even learned that. Donghyuck plush lips are curled up in a smug smile that Mark lays closer to shut down by kissing him. His hands dart down to the back pocket of his jeans and stay there. 

"You're so hot. I can't keep my hands from you." Mark leans forward, over Donghyuck, noses along his neck and presses kisses to the moles there, scattered like the most beautiful galaxy he has ever seen. 

Donghyuck's flushed enough against him that Mark can feel his chest vibrate in a burst of silence laughter. He laughs and pulls Mark closer, arms wrapped around his neck. 

"You're not bad yourself," Donghyuck whispers into his ear, sending goosebumps all over his arms. 

Mark scoffs. "You're dating me only for my looks." 

"You're right," and to prove his point, his hands follow the sway of Mark's waist, fingertips under his shirt, caressing so softly the skin of his back. 

The song is coming to the end when another one comes on shuffle and Donghyuck's promise of just one song is forgotten, between the grinding and touching. Donghyuck's hand dart all the way up to his cheek, fingers lightly ghosting over his jaws, body slowly moving away to sway. 

Mark makes a noise that's close to a moan, as Donghyuck buries his nose at the junction between his neck and left shoulder. Mark smells of eucalyptus and sweat. It's oddly, oddly addicting, and despite the fact that there's literally no space between them, Donghyuck needs more. 

Mark yanks Donghyuck's waist closer to him, possessively and his hands find Donghyuck's in his hips and tightly intertwine them. 

"I have to go back to work," Donghyuck's smirks apologetic and Mark reckons Donghyuck expects him to get off immediately. He does, eventually, not before he kisses him, deeply, sweetly and needy. "Text me when you get home," with that, Donghyuck presses a kiss to Mark's cheek. "Love you." 

"Love you, too," Mark says. He checks the hour and it's alarming. 1:59 am. He starts his lessons with Namjoon tomorrow morning. He leaves the place and texts Donghyuck. 

[1:58 am] 

you 

text me when you get home, babe 

even if it's late, okay? 

[2:01 am] 

duckie 

sir, yes sir! 

i love youuuuuu! get home safe 

get your retake done and we'll catch up, okay? 

till then, don't come here every day, just when you really have time 

[2:05 am] 

you 

what if I miss you so much? 

[2:06 am] 

duckie 

we can facetime, dummy 

i don't want to be a distraction, okay? 

i wouldn't forgive myself 

[2:07 am] 

you 

you're not 

it's me the one that doesn't know how to organize time 

[2:08 am] 

duckie 

we can discuss that later, okay? 

job's calling, I love you a lots and lots, sleep well 

[2:08 am] 

you 

okay, babe, good luck 

i love you lots and lots too 

When Mark gets home and texts Donghyuck that he arrived just fine, his boyfriend sent him a goodnight selfie. He sleeps lightly after that. 

* 

Saturday, April 20th. 

It takes almost a month and a half for Mark to celebrate his good grade in the retake. Mostly, because he got busy, almost right away after his bad grade. He saw Donghyuck twice in the spare time. Once, when he passed by the bar and waited for his shift to end. And the next time, was when Donghyuck visited him at the library, late at night, taking his break time to get him something to eat. So when Donghyuck texts him that morning, telling him that his dad is overseas, he doesn't hesitate to invite everyone over to his house. 

Since Donghyuck's schedule was… to not say weird without giving too many details, Mark's friends haven't met him. So he's really excited about tonight. Donghyuck gets to his dorm earlier, as soon his watchdog leaves. 

"I brought… stuff," Donghyuck says, letting the grocery bags fall into the counter of the kitchen, "here's your favorite jelly. I'll leave them in the fridge. I brought fries and sausages, ramen too," he smirks ashamed of the first time they bought ramen, "and of course, my favorite! Cocktails." 

"Taeyong's going to love you," Mark comments, resting his weight in Donghyuck's back, he leaves wet kisses all over his neck, "He's going to like you as long you make good margaritas." 

Donghyuck grins smugly. "I'm glad I make the best margaritas in town." 

"Do you?" 

Before Donghyuck can answer, someone, knocks the door. Mark leaves a kiss on Donghyuck's cheek and goes to open the door. There, his friends Taeyong, Doyoung and Jungwoo smile. 

"Come in, come in." Mark moves to the side to let them enter. The three males look around and find Donghyuck under the doorframe of the kitchen. 

"Hey," he greets, shyly. "I'm Donghyuck, it's nice to meet you." He moves forward and offers a hand. 

"The infamous Donghyuck," Doyoung grins, mischievous smile printed on his face. "Thought you were a product of Mark's imagination." 

"Oh no!" Donghyuck fake laughs, eyes glittering in fun, "I'm sure I was for the first months we meet." 

"What do you mean?" Jungwoo's hops in. 

Donghyuck opens a six-pack of Coronas and offers them to each one of them. "He had a tiny little crush on me. He kept on coming even though I ignored him." 

"I didn't!" Mark defends and plops into the couch. The others follow him, smiling. 

"It's okay, babe, I'm sure your friends were aware of this fact," Donghyuck replies, snuggling in Mark's chest. 

"We were." The three of them say at the same time. 

They all laugh and relax after that. Mark's other friends show up later and he introduces everyone to Donghyuck. He's the life of the party, everyone orbits around him. With his boxed smile and refined manners, everyone falls for him. 

"I think I can get what you meant last time," Taeyong comments later that night when Donghyuck leaves to the kitchen to make more margaritas. "About Donghyuck needing you." 

"You do?" Mark asks, puzzled by the sudden turn of his conversation. 

Taeyong puts an arm in Mark's shoulder and lets the younger rest his face in his shoulder. "There's something about you two. It's like you both gravitate towards each other. Like there's something private going on and the rest of us feel like intruders." 

Mark seems to think about it for a second. "Is that a good thing?" 

Taeyong nods, taking a sip of his beer. "Yeah." 

"So you like him?" 

"He's really… something, at the most," Taeyong shrugs, "Does he takes good care of you?" 

"Yeah," Mark nods absently. "He's my best friend, you know? I used to think that even if we didn't get to the point of actually dating, I was sure Donghyuck was going to be a part of my life for a long time." 

Taeyong sighs. "Be careful, Mark. You're walking on thin ice." 

"What do you mean?" Mark asks confused. 

Donghyuck sits next to him and gives to Taeyong a wicked smile. "Hyung, I made you this," he offers a cup of something that looks a lot like a margarita, "it's called daiquiri. It's my own recipe. Try it." 

Taeyong takes a sip and opens his eyes wide. "If I didn't know you were with Mark, I would think you were trying to get into my pants." 

Donghyuck chuckles and hides his smile behind one hand. "Does that mean you like it?" 

"It's the best," Taeyong winks and Donghyuck makes an inhuman sound from the back of his throat. "I'll let you two be, lovebirds." 

The rest of the night pass by quickly and thanks god, there's no one that has thrown up. Donghyuck stays and helps him clean the place. 

"Do you want a coffee?" Mark offers, wiping the end of the counter and cleaning it from chips. 

"No, it's okay," Donghyuck replies, getting closer to his boyfriend. He hugs him, hands on his hips. "I have to go, though." 

"Why?" Mark deflates, pouting. 

Donghyuck threads his fingers in Mark's scalp. "My watchdog is coming…" he checks his watch, "in two hours." 

"I'm going to walk you home." Mark moves to the counter and takes his keys. He offers his hand to Donghyuck. 

"Just because I missed this." Donghyuck sticks his tongue out, reaching for Mark’s hand and holding it. 

The walk is long, around 20 minutes but spring is in full blossom, and even though the morning is chilly, they have each other to keep their bodies warm. The sky is a beautiful, colored with a pink and baby blue tone. The sun's still hiding and there's, just a light but present, cold breeze, but Mark can feel himself melting. Maybe because the boy next to him, looked at him with a smile so bright Mark felt the sun was a mere candle flame compared to it. 

They’re close just a street away can be seen the mansion Donghyuck lives in. They’re walking hand on hand when a man in black clothes stands in front of them. He smiles an unhinged smile, that makes Mark’s spine shiver in fear. 

“It’s good to see you again, Donghyuck, sweetie,” he speaks, a fake courtesy that makes Mark more aware of the situation. “We already know how this ends, so let’s do it quickly.” As soon he says it, he flashes a knife and aims for Donghyuck chest. 

Mark’s not sure why he did that. Even in twenty years, when someone asks him for the scar in the middle of his fingers, he’s going to answer simply: “I saved someone I loved.” He would picture it beautiful, an act of bravery and chivalry. But right now, he saw his arm reach in front of his nose and take the knife. 

Donghyuck, with the reflex of a boxer player, already saw the attack and crouch down, using his shoulder to knock him down, as a rugby player would do. The knife flew away from their attacker and blood was streaming down Mark’s fingers. He saw in astonishment the blood dropping in the pavement. His right hand tried to stop the blood flowing. It was a poor attempt but it was better to do this task at hand to see Donghyuck fighting the man, knees on both side of his chest, his fist punching him in the face. 

“Stop.” A punch. “Doing.” Another one. “This.” A final punch that made the man’s nose bleed. 

The man laughed, blood in his teeth. “Your right hook got better, kid.” He wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. “You know this is not personal. You have character. I admire that. But you can’t be seen with that pretty face of yours intact. So, let’s keep it professional.” He pushes him in the chest, throwing him to the pavement. He stood and threw a kick to Donghyuck’s ribs. “Tell your father this is for last weekend.” He kicked him again, placing his nasty boots in Donghyuck’s chest. “This is for being so fucking annoying to Yukhei.” He leans down to him and hits him in the face. “This is for ruining my favorite jacket, jackass.” 

He turns to Mark and punches past him, making him lose his balance. “See you next month, pretty.” 

When he disappeared in the street, Mark kneels down next to Donghyuck, who was trying to stand up in his elbows. There was a cut in his eyebrow and his left cheek was red with the mark of the slap. His eyes reached Mark, who saw the shame and guilt. 

“I don’t know what to say, Mark,” he breathed slowly, just like he did when he was trying to not cry. 

Mark helped him to stand in his feet, avoiding his gaze. “Let’s go.” 

“Mark…” He winced. Mark's eyes flipped up to him. “You’re bleeding.” 

Mark kept his head down, trying to hide the blood that was still streaming from his hands. “It’s nothing.” He lied. 

“Why did you do this?” Donghyuck’s voiced sounded accusatory. 

Mark's lips tightened. He remained silent. Donghyuck was an inch away, but for some reason, it looked like he was miles away from Mark, like he just lost him. 

“When I ask you something, Mark, I hope you answer me.” His voice was low, threatening, and for the first time since he met Donghyuck, he was afraid of him. 

Mark licked his lips, feeling the bile building in his throat while tears pricked his eyes. 

“Damn it, Mark! Answer!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, forgetting they were in a public space and if any neighbor called the police, it was over for them. “Why did you do that?” 

“I didn’t-” he tries, but again, he feels a knot in his throat, blocking his breath. “You were there- and I- I thought-” 

“You think I can fight on my own?” Donghyuck laughs bitterly. “Don’t delude yourself. I was just well before you and I will be okay after you too. You think this is my first fight or what? You thought I would thank you for saving me? Like I’m a damsel in distress? I don’t need this and I definitely don’t need you rescuing me.” 

Mark steps backward. “I wasn’t rescuing you, okay? I just can’t- I can’t look at you getting hurt.” 

Donghyuck laughs again like he just lost his mind. “I’m _going_ to get hurt, Mark. My life’s so fucked up, I can’t even- How can I have you when my life crumbles apart, Mark?” 

“I’ll pick you up, every time, Donghyuck.” 

“Don’t you dare! You’re looking at me with pity.” Donghyuck frowns and rubs his hands over his face. “You’re looking at me like a beaten puppy. I don’t need your clemency.” 

“It’s because I love you, okay?!” Mark threw his arms out in exasperation. “What do you want from me.” 

There’s a silence before he dares to speak, voice in the edge of the tears. “How do you know?” 

Mark looks up. “What?” 

Donghyuck’s lips tremble. “How do you know you love me? What if your kindness doesn’t let you see this,” he gestures at his face, “what if you’re with me just because you know this is going to break me. Am I another of your social projects?” 

Mark's hands turn to fist next to his body, the pain in his cut now forgotten. “Donghyuck, go home.” 

“NO!” A sob escapes from his lips as his eyes are filling with tears. “Answer me!” 

Mark closes the distance so the tip of their shoes are touching. “Donghyuck, I love you. I don’t know why or how. I don’t know how other people love, or how I loved in the past. But loving you feels right.” 

Donghyuck cries again. Mark opens his arms for him. “I’m going to hurt you, Mark. And that scares the shit out of me.” 

Mark tries to hold him again but Donghyuck shoves him off. “Are you even listening?” 

“I do.” 

Donghyuck nods and takes a step back, sending a clear message to Mark. _Leave me alone._

He meets his eyes and Mark should have seen that coming. 

Indecipherable. 

“I need to go,” Donghyuck cleans the dust from his past. He looks at some point over Mark’s shoulder. “Don’t call.” He turns around and begins to slowly disappear from Mark sight. 

Mark waits a heartbeat. He’s going to look at him over his shoulder and tell him he’s just joking. He’s going to stop in his heels and call for him over. He’s going to keep his door opened for him. 

Donghyuck doesn’t do any of it. 

Mark runs behind him. Donghyuck’s about to enter but frozes when Mark’s calling for him at the bottom of the stairs. 

“This is just a fight, right?” Mark says, feeling his heart breaking to pieces, tears rolling down his cheeks. “We’re not breaking up, right?” 

Donghyuck closes the door behind him. 

* 

Mark goes to _Zone_ every night, trying to look for his piece of sunshine. 

He doesn’t find any of it. 

_He quit. He quit in early April,_ is what everyone says. 

The bar is too dark and cold to stand there anyway. 

* 

Mark’s drunk. He realizes that around 2 in the morning. He’s splattered in the floor of his room, one bottle of vodka next to him. A Michael Jackson songs can be heard from his speakers. He mumbles Donghyuck’s name to the room like a pray. 

* 

He starts reading poems. They make him angry. He writes them and tears the paper apart. He cries over some of them. 

He starts writing his own poems. Surprisingly, they’re not about Donghyuck. They’re about stars, galaxies, sunflowers and spring days. He talks about them with sorrow and pain. 

* 

Mark goes to the Han River and eats one cup of ramen alone. His heart aches. Mark doesn’t think it will ever go away. 

* 

Tokyo, Tuesday, December 25th. 

It was a lazy morning as the first rays of sun stumbled across the café. Donghyuck was in front of Mark, rambling about his flirty co-worker, Jaemin, drinking a ridiculous amount of whipped cream in his coffee. 

He took a canapé from the basket and ate it. “Seriously, Mark. I feel flattered most of the time because he has the smile of an angel.” 

Mark frowns. 

Donghyuck’s quick to send him a secretive smile. “You have the smile of the sunlight after a storm, Mark.” 

Mark blushes, taking a bite of his sandwich to hide it. 

“So, as I was saying. Jaemin’s such a flirt! I can’t stand him. The other day we were walking to the bus station and he told me his boyfriend was waiting for him. It was a shook, you know? Because that Jaemin with puppy eyes was the same Jaemin that, and I quote ‘wanted to discover what those legs can do’.” He sighs irritated, throwing angrily another canapé to his mouth. “So in our way to the bus station he gets a call from his _babe_ ,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes and Mark’s close to bursting into a laugh. “He turns to me and tells me is Jeno! Like that's the best news I have ever heard.” 

He sips from his coffee mug, whipped cream leaving in his lips. He licks them quickly, but there’s a fine line of whipped cream over his cupid bow. Mark momentary remembers a drama scene. He smiles for himself. 

“-and, mind you, when we get to the bus station he introduces me to,” He makes a dramatic pause before hissing, “Jisung. A high-school student! I can’t believe that little shit-” 

Mark can’t take it anymore. He stands and licks the rest of whipped cream from Donghyuck’s lips with a kiss. It tastes good. He seats in his chair as nothing happened. 

“Poor Jisung,” He comments, biting the remain of his sandwich. “High-school is hard enough already to have a boyfriend with another boyfriend.” 

Donghyuck looks at him with his lips parted, surprise drew all over his face. He blushes in the most beautiful red. He takes Mark shirt with his fist and yanks him over the table. 

“You’re so fucking lame.” He mocks laughing in the kiss. 

They kiss, under the first of too many breakfasts together. 

They kiss, free. 

[*](https://open.spotify.com/track/2SOUTN8rzGAkBr001HqAXe?si=JdVybDTeTDe8Stne1e10QA)

Friday, May 10th. 

Donghyuck called him. 

Twenty days later, he called. 

One of the shortest call he has ever had in his life. Donghyuck wants to meet Mark in his house tonight. 

Mark enters the house like old times, using the spare key under the pot. He steps inside, cautiously. Donghyuck told him to meet him at his balcony. He climbs upstairs. When he reaches the third floor and passes the glass door, he spots him in the corner, his legs hanging in the edge of the ceiling. 

He joins him as nothing happened. 

“Hey, Mark.” He looks at him from the corner of his eyes. “It’s a beautiful night.” 

Mark doesn’t quite understand what’s going on. He shrugs, pretending nonchalantly. “Yeah, I guess.” 

They stay like that for a while, admiring the stars. Donghyuck interrupts the silence. “Mark, you know I have never lied to you.” 

Mark can’t fight his logic. “Well, yeah.” 

Donghyuck turns to him and gives him a sad smile. “Can I do it for once?” Mark nods and Donghyuck takes a deep breath. “I’m not leaving you behind. I did it once and I won’t do it again. I don’t love you and I never did.” 

Mark feels his breath catch in his throat. “What are you saying?” 

Donghyuck lips tremble and when he brings them to his face, Mark notices they’re shaking. “I’m leaving to China.” 

Mark's heart clenches as his head starts spinning. “What-?” 

He stares to the night when he explains. “Chenle has been helping me to get a fake passport to leave the country,” Mark gasps. “My father… I will get killed someday, if not by him, I’m sure one of the many gangs that hate him would like to shoot me in the face.” 

“The guy…” Mark trails off, not daring to speak about that day yet. 

Donghyuck takes a breath and bits his lips. He nods. “Yeah, his gang works for Yukhei’s father. He comes around and beats me for fun. I’m not sure.” He dismisses the topic by a wave of his hand. “The thing is that I need to leave the country. I can’t give you details, in case… in case he…” He stops. 

Mark gets it. “He finds me and asks me about your plans.” 

“‘Ask’ is a nice way to put it, but yeah, basically.” Donghyuck shifts uncomfortable. “It was good timing that we had that fight.” 

Mark tries his best to hide the hurt expression in his face, but the way Donghyuck’s eyes squeeze in pain, he knows he has failed. 

“For the record, no, we didn’t break up.” Donghyuck stutters. “I mean- Chenle told me I needed to quit my job and stop being seen with anyone. Something about deleting my data. So I couldn’t contact you.” 

Mark sighs, in something closer to relief. “For the record, I’m sorry.” 

Donghyuck tilts his head to his direction, offering a sad smile. “I am too, very sorry, Mark.” 

Mark reaches tentatively for his hand and Donghyuck meets him in the middle. They intertwine them together. Mark would like to think they’re alone, meeting the sky hand by hand, the sound of the city as white noise. 

He rubs his thumb in the back of Donghyuck’s hand and asks afraid to break their own bubble. “When are you leaving?” 

Donghyuck closes his eyes and his free hand reaches Mark’s face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, fuck, Mark, why did I have to meet you?” He dropped his head onto his shoulder and whined. “I have a bulletproof plan. Work, wait for my father’s fist and leave the hell away from here.” Donghyuck throws his arms around his waist and squeezes him closer. “Chenle got me my passport in March. But I couldn’t leave you, god, Mark it killed me to think we have our days counted. I hated my life so much. I felt in cold water, sinking in my own misery. You didn’t save me, but you helped me learn how to breathe underwater. If that makes any sense.” 

For a person that was ditched around twenty times, you’ll think Mark’s good at goodbyes. But life without Donghyuck has never looked so more bored and lack of light ever. He brought colors to his monochrome life. He painted every corner of his life with his own colors and now if he left… They would vanish, if not immediately, soon enough. 

Mark takes Donghyuck by his shoulders and sits him in front of him. “Can I ask you something?” 

Donghyuck cleans his nose with the back of his hands. “Yeah, I owe you that.” 

Mark gulps loudly. “Was Johnny your first love?” 

Donghyuck’s expression goes from confusion to understanding and lately to regret. He nods. “Yes.” 

Mark nods calmly. He already knew that. 

“Why are you asking me that?” 

“Because you felt like my first love.” 

Donghyuck lets out the ugliest sob ever heard in life. He jumps to Mark laps and hugs him tightly. “Don’t say things like that, I would never leave you.” 

Mark laughs and the sound echoes in Donghyuck’s chest, blooming like daisies. 

“Let’s have one la-” he stops in middle sentence, “one more dance.” 

Donghyuck smiles or tries to do that, with his face red from crying. Mark lays a kiss in his forehead and takes his hands to the center of the rooftop. Mark plays a song from his phone and saves it in the front pocket of his shirt. 

He wraps Donghyuck’s waist with his arms and places his head on his shoulder. Donghyuck snugged just under Mark’s chin, folding him in his arms. They weren’t dancing at all, just moving in circles, holding each other close to their hearts. 

And it was okay. This might be the last time they’ll see each other. After this, Donghyuck’s going to leave and have a fake identity in a country with a population of 1,42 billion. He won’t ever find him; he’ll slip like sand from his fist. 

“If I’m never going to see you again, I want you to know I’ll carry you close to my heart,” Mark says, not stopping the tears that are coming from his eyes. “Because of- Donghyuck, I’m not ready to lose you yet.” 

Donghyuck cries and grabs onto his shirt. “Wait for me, Mark. I’ll run to you.” 

And just Mark started his journey with Donghyuck, with just darkness on sight, he dipped him one last time and kissed him, making the world burst in bright colors. 

“I will wait,” Mark squeezed him closer to his chest, “If it’s you, I can wait.” 

Donghyuck replies with another kiss. 

“After all, you were my first love.” 

* 

_Years later_

Mark’s never been a fan of stargazing, but after finding the right spot next to the Ottawa River, he has been quite finding a hobby to lose time. 

The parliament looks imposing on the other side of the river. A picture that never gets old for Mark, who takes his time to land his eyes all over the palace. It’s a cold night, but Mark sits in the seats next to the river, admiring the sky. The air that escapes from his lips transforms in a vapor. He should have taken a packet of cigarettes with him. 

He shakes his head and brings his scarf closer to his face. He searches for any of the constellations he has been reading in books, but with the light of the city, the stars can’t be seen much. But it’s okay, Mark just needs one star to shine in his dark sky. 

His legs move impatiently in the pavement like he’s waiting for something or someone. Odd, because Mark doesn’t wait, doesn’t hold in promises. 

Or that’s what he likes to tell himself. 

He digs an old scar an allows himself to think about Donghyuck. About his hands holding him against his chest; about his odd scent of cake flour and orange; about his obsession with daisies and Michael Jackson and poems. He thinks about his breath itching under his chin when he hugged him. He moves his head to the rhythm of the last song they danced, the memory of his hands on his hip and the path his lips made all over his necks. 

He shivers and it’s not because the cold. “Donghyuck.” He whispers to the air, like a complaint. In that way, he would materialize and stand next to him. 

Someone clears his throat next to his seat. Mark with his eyes closed, moves to his left and makes space for the intruder. 

“Mark.” 

Mark’s eyes snap open and slowly, like a kid caught by his mother, turns to his side. 

There, next to him, like years hasn’t passed away, stares back his night wish to the stars and the sky. 

“Donghyuck.” He whispers once more, again like a complaint. This seemed like a cosmetic joke, the epitome of Mark losing his head over Donghyuck. After years, he’s now hallucinating his existence in the same city, let alone, the same bench. 

“Tough night?” He asks, the same fire of fun in his eyes. 

Mark’s speechless. He stumbles in his next words. “How- I thought- You were in China and now you’re-”. 

“Here,” Donghyuck nods, smirking. “With you. Like I promised.” 

Mark gulps and reaches a hand to touch him, to make sure he’s real and he’s not going to wake up in a bed alone. Donghyuck closes his eyes at the contact, tasting the feeling of Mark’s warmness. Mark caresses his cheek with a thumb. 

“You are here.” Mark shakes his head, unable to believe it. “You are here, in Canada, with me.” 

Donghyuck gives him his best smile, the one that makes him crunch his nose and his eyes squeeze lightly. “I am, indeed.” 

“How are you here? In Ottawa, to all of the places.” 

“After I left Korea, Chenle’s grandfather adopted me in his company. I was too good on my own that I paid my debt for the passport and security costs in a year. Chenle wanted me to run an office in Beijing after that, so I did. With the incredible joy that I meet one of your closest friend, Sicheng.” 

“Sicheng?!” So that little snake knew about Donghyuck’s whereabouts and never spilled a thing to Mark. Oh, he was so dead. 

“Don’t get mad at him. I explained him the situation with my father and you. It wasn’t safe for me to contact you since you still were in Seoul. Two weeks ago Sicheng called me. You left Korea!” Donghyuck patted his shoulder, leaving his hand there. “It was my change. I bid my farewell Chenle and his family and took the first flight to Ottawa.” 

“You left your job? For me?” Mark couldn’t believe it, but when Donghyuck looked up at him, the familiar feeling of coziness and fondness dripping from his eyes made him reconsider it. “Wait, how’d you know I was here?” 

“In the park?” Mark nods. Donghyuck blushes and smiles shyly. “Well, I just happen to follow you in Instagram. I always kept an eye on you after I left. You kept posting –odd by the way- pictures of the Parliament. I came all week, walking around, trying to find you.” 

Mark blushes too. There’s an awkward silence. 

Donghyuck takes a deep breath and breaks the silence. “I found an amazing apartment, close to the Museum. It has a balcony with an amazing view.” 

Mark narrows at him. “That’s great-”. 

“Let me finish,” Donghyuck complains, already embarrassed. He rubs the palm of his hands in his face. “It’s not that big, but it’s spacious. I have one room that gets the sunlight first thing in the morning. My closet has an extra space if someones want to keep their clothes. I have a library with space for more books.” He shakes his head, giving away the tiniest smile. “What I want to say is that the apartment is big if I want to share it with anyone. And I want to.” 

“You don’t need to rub it on my face-”Mark's voice’s dumbfounded. 

“Jesus, Mark! I’m saying that I have space in my apartment. For you.” He stops to inhale sharply like his patience is about to run over. “I have space for you, Mark. I have space for your tea bags, for your books of Plato, Montesquieu, and Rousseau. There’s space for you next to me on my couch. There’s a free corner in the living room for your guitar and my piano.” 

He leans closer and cups Mark’s face with his own cold hands. “There’s a space for you if you want it.” 

And Mark knows he doesn’t mean just the apartment. He closes the distance and presses their lips together. 

“If I want it,” Mark says, smiling like a fool. 

“If you want it,” Donghyuck replies, with the same exact fool smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> And they lived happily ever after.  
> Thank you and merry christmas! This was a long ride. It took me one month! The longest I have worked in a project. I hope you liked it because I poured myself in it, between classes and job. Please leave your thoughts, I'm dying to know. It's literally 2am and I have been editing it since 10pm.  
> Have a happy holidays, everyone!


End file.
